Why writers have a right to be commercial (if Woody Allen can do it...)

I occasionally run workshops on self-publishing a novel and in every class there’s at least one set of eyebrows that shoot up at the point where I start to wax lyrical about the importance of sales, and how to better construct your book in a way that helps it sell. 

That means thinking about things that lure more buyers in—like word length, cover design, price point and so forth.

“You want to sell as many books as you can,” I say, “because the more books you sell the more money you make and the more chance you have to go on and turn more of your wonderful stories into books.” 

For some students it’s as though I have just said, “Now go out and prostitute yourself.” 

Invariably, their  eyebrows begin to squish together and a scornful voice below them says something like, “But surely we shouldn’t be publishing books to make money.” And my reply is usually a variation of, “And why the hell not?”

Do J.K. Rowling, Stephen King, Toni Morrison and Ian McEwan all knock back their royalties?

I then go on to say something to the effect of, “Why is it okay for certain professions to shamelessly make a motza and be lauded for it—like inventors and scientists and internet gurus and actors and entrepreneurs and sports people and, well, you get the drift—yet writers must cling to this antiquated idea that if we are to be true artists, we must struggle?”

“Why must we ignore sales to have any kind of credibility?”

At this point their eyebrows often settle down a bit and they concede the point and wave me on. That’s when I start discussing how to actually sell more books, and lo and behold things turn squishy again.

Because selling your book doesn’t start the minute you write ‘The End’. 

In fact, I tell my students, if you’re writing commercial fiction (because I’m not talking about literary fiction that delibrately pushes boundaries) and you’re hoping to sell e-books (because unless your name is Barnes and Noble, sites like Amazon are your marketplace) you’re going to need to consider certain factors before you’ve even penned the prologue.

Like word count... 

Did you know, for instance, that in some genres less is best (like mystery and non-fiction), in others the more the merrier (like literary fiction)? Certain readers gravitate to certain book lengths whether you like it or not. That means, if yours is a crime novel, a little less waffle might be good for your wallet. It might also be better for the book, but that's a whole other workshop.

Like the first few pages.. 

Did you know that online buyers usually only read a small (free) sample and if you don’t grab them fast they flick on to the next book? They may download the full 20% sample but chances are they won't even read a quarter of that. It's still a lot more than they're likely to read if they stumble upon your book in their local book shop. In any case it means you haven't got time (aka pages) to waste (see earlier comment about waffle).

Not to mention all the things that come afterwards like cover design (it’ll be the size of a stamp so it needs to work doubly hard) and price point (you could sell your ebook for $39.95 but the only one who’ll buy it is your mother), and so on and so forth.

By this stage the sceptical student's eyebrows are so wedged together, they could hold up a set of Encyclopedias. Yet I ask you: what’s wrong with creating, writing and marketing your books so they actually find buyers (aka readers)? 

Is that really any more cynical or any less artistic than writing books so that some guy in a suit can give you  a publishing deal or a literary award or a good review in a newspaper?

Better yet—and this is really what I'm arguing here—is it any different to the way other artists go about their work? Like producers of films, albums, plays, opera, broadsheets and so on? Every single one of those artforms works within certain externally dictated constraints in order to lure and satisfy an audience. 

So why not books?

Let’s take a closer look at some of these. 

• Films

When did you last see a movie—even an ‘art-house flick’— that cost, say, $30 a ticket or went for five hours? The likes of Woody Allen and Martin Scorsese may feel they deserve higher ticket prices or want to make a ten-hour movie but they know that very few people will see it and so they edit it back. And they do this even before they've finished the first take. It's part of the pre-production process.

That’s showbusiness. That’s common sense. That’s their very survival. Whatever the filmmaker's motive for making the movie, be it to entertain, challenge or take us on a journey, none of those things will happen if we don’t first buy a cinema ticket. 

In other words: Sales.

• Opera, Ballet, Theatre...

How many plays, operas or ballets have you attended that were performed at, say, five in the morning? Or after midnight? I’m gonna guess that, if you've attended any at all, the answer is none. Instead the production is usually performed over a few digestible hours after work or as a weekend matinee. Because that’s when people are available to see them and that’s when they’re more likely to buy a ticket. Did the reviewer criticize the fact that the opera or ballet was deliberately held at a convenient time for the masses? 

Were they selling out? I think not.

• Feature articles

When you read a brilliantly written article in a magazine or newspaper, like a literary book review perhaps, did you know that the writer was most likely asked to stay within a certain word count? And that the word counts for these reviews are getting smaller and smaller thanks to the internet and our diminishing attention spans? Do you criticize the reviewer and tell them they have sold out because they kept their review to, say, 500 words instead of the 1500 they wanted to write? Do they criticize themselves?

Of course not. It’s just business. It means the reader (remember them?) is more likely to read the whole review, the paper is more likely to sell more copies, and the reviewer is more likely to be asked (and paid!) to write more reviews in future. Ka-ching! all round.

So is that selling out? 

Stories should never be compromised. That’s NOT what I’m on about. 

Let me repeat that because I know some of you are already formulating your scathing comments about true art and selling your soul and blah blah blah.

Stories should never be compromised. But the way you present and package your stories can be carefully tweaked and modified to lure more readers in, just as they are in other areas of life. 

More readers = better sales

Better sales = more financial freedom

More financial freedom = more chance of giving up your day job and telling more of your wonderful stories

Hell, it may even give you the financial freedom to throw everything I’ve just said out of the window and write that 200,000-word tome you’ve been dreaming about.

Just don’t expect to sell many.

Happy reading (and writing) everyone!

xo Christina

What writers do when the power goes out

The darkness drops again...

If I was a deeply religious person, I'd think that it was divine intervention, or a message from above. Instead, I'm beginning to wonder whether it's my creative muse giving me a little zap.

Several times this month my Power Supplier has informed me that the electricity will be switched off for eight hours, in a few days time. Let me just repeat that. EIGHT HOURS! That's 480 minutes or  a full working day.

Oh. My. Freakin' God!

Now, before you start sending cheques, let me clarify: It's not because I haven't paid my bill, heaven forbid, but because they're doing maintenance on the lines. Or something. And each time I have cursed the aforementioned heavens and had to get better organised.

Preparing for the Stone Age

Being in the final throes of the first draft of my second Agatha Christie Book Club, has meant charging up the laptop the evening before said Power Outage so I can at least get a few decent hours of work in before my world turns Stone Age.

It's happened twice already and I have two more 'Off Days' scheduled before the month is out. Arrrgggh!

Except, really, if I think about it, it's a blessing in disguise. Because no power means no WiFi and no TV and no kettle and all those other modern distractions that drag me from my typing and help me to procrastinate.

And as every author knows, it's so easy to procrastinate when you're writing a book. Hell, it's practically mandatory. That and copious supplies of coffee.

Without power, however, both things become a lot more difficult, and the world becomes very, very small. Suddenly all I have is a tiny window of opportunity to get some typing done—four hours if the laptop battery is behaving itself. Suddenly I need to focus as I've never focused before. Every second counts. I don't muck around. I don't check Facebook or put the washing on or phone a friend. I just sit and I type and I type and I type — for four hours straight.

Without a single coffee break, mind.

And then—gasp—the laptop goes black and I am left with nothing but a dead screen and my thoughts.

And that's okay, too, because as every writer also knows, there's nothing better than some 'dead time' to really let your brain come to life. On both occasions I use that time to ponder what I have written, tighten a few plot points, and reconfigure several characters who weren't quite dancing off the page. 

And I do it all with these weird gadgets they call 'pencils' and 'notepads'. And things do not fall apart! The centre does hold! Mere anarachy is far from loosed upon the world. In fact, efficiency and calm appear to descend and my brain is as lit up as a light bulb.

By the time the full eight hours is over and the power is miraculously back on, I am fully recharged, my book is humming along and we are both the better for it.

So, bring it on oh Power (Company) That Be. Your maintenance work on the power lines is powering up my focus and creativity.

As for you, dear readers? Look out for my new book in the coming months. Just a few more power outages and it'll be done.

Until then, happy reading.

xo Christina

Under my Ghostie's skin (is she deeper than you realise?)

Q: Do you think Roxy Parker chose to be a Ghostwriter so she could hide in the shadows of other people's lives?

It was a throwaway question, posed to me by a longtime reader and fan, but it threw me for six. I was writing my third ghostwriter mystery when she emailed me from her home in Canada, and I laughed at first before blinking rapidly and having a mini 'Ah-ha' moment that quickly turned into an ''Oh my God!'

Yes. Absolutely. Of course! My reader had nailed it, and I hadn't even realised. Yet I have to confess, that hadn't been my original intention, at least not consciously, not at the start.

Conjuring up a ghost
Roxy Parker was just supposed to be a bit of fun, a bit of a lark. When I first conjured up the protagonist of my new Ghostwriter Mystery Series for the first book Killer Twist, I enjoyed turning her into a merlot-swilling, fast-talking, puzzle-loving amateur sleuth, who just happens to stumble upon corpses as she ghostwrites other people's 'autobiographies'.

Yet as I fleshed Roxy out, as I coloured her in and then drew in her supporting cast, I created something a lot deeper than that, and a hell of a lot more interesting. I'm not talking thesis-inspiring deep, or even something many readers would consciously notice, but it's there and I hadn't even realised it had happened, until one reader pointed it out.

While creating a ghostwriter, I had in effect created a ghost.


Behind the shadows
Roxy lives in the shadows of other people's lives. She's a journalist first and foremost, and most journalists, it has to be said, do exactly that—especially of the print variety. In fact, it's the reason I became a print journo. My communications lecturer had suggested I go into broadcast; I guess he figured I could pull off the voice and/or face for it, but I was aghast at the thought. I loved being behind the scenes, I loved pulling the real story out of other people and pushing them up and into the spotlight.

I wasn't the story, they were! Duh!

It's doubly so for ghostwriters. They don't even get a byline asI generally do, their voice is never heard. Ghostwritten books are usually always in first-person, in the subject's voice, not theirs.  It is ALL about the other, and that's just the way young Roxy likes it.

It's also the reason she has set her life up the way she has. It explains everything about her, from her cosy little apartment, only big enough for one, to her motley crew of mates, all fiercely single, all living through others whether they realise it or not. Like her sweet slob of an agent, Oliver, whose whole career is set up to push other people's careers; and her Scottish pal Lockie, a budding artist who provides a cosy cafe where real arty types can congregate. And Gilda Maltin, of course, the tough-talking cop who is single, lives alone and investigates other people's lives.

Only one person breaks the mould. 

Max Farrell is Roxy's best friend, a photographer, but he doesn't just snap other people, he creates his own artworks, is a minor celebrity in his own right. He lives in an over-sized warehouse and has plenty of room both there—and in his heart—for Ms Parker.

He's the one who tries to break into Roxy's heart, to bring her out of the shadows and put her in the spotlight. And she keeps pushing him back.

She likes her quiet little life, thank you very much! She likes her Thai takeaway, her local cafe and the newsagents who hold the paper for her so she can cut out the complex mystery and misery she finds inside. Maybe Roxy thinks by doing all of this she will avoid more mystery/misery in her own life?

She had a taste of it once, remember, when her beloved father died? She doesn't want to feel that pain again. She'd rather document other people's pain.

And so Roxy has made her life very small, very single, very closed down—just ask her disapproving mother! Perhaps Lorraine isn't as clueless or as cruel as Roxy likes to make out.

Perhaps the reason both Lorraine and Max want Roxy to stop interfering in other people's mysteries has less to do with her personal safety and more to do with Roxy living a life of her own.

None of this matters, of course, if you're just enjoying the ride. But if you like your characters deeper, if you're into psychoanalysis, well... may I introduce the real Roxy Parker. She's deeper than you may realise.

What do you think? Did you, like my Canadian reader, catch any of that? Are we both over-thinking it? Does it even matter? I'd love to hear your views, please don't hesitate to leave a comment below, or get in touch via email.

Happy (deeper) reading everyone!

xo Christina

Out of the (cozy) cupboard and proud!

I knew they were crime. I knew they were fairly benign. But I never had a clue my murder mysteries were 'cozy' until I began uploading them to Amazon. 

Despite my best efforts—'suspense!', 'international mystery!', 'humor!'— I was quickly relegated to the 'Cozy' genre. Didn't bother me, of course. It just confused me.

What the hell is Cozy Crime?

The name, of course, gives the game away. Look up a dictionary, any dictionary, and you're likely to find the words: "comfortable, snug, warm and friendly".*

And, yes, that is one way of looking at my books. Kind of.
I mean, there are a few murders in the mix, but for the most part The Ghostwriter Mystery Series and The Agatha Christie Book Club can be read in the dead of night without looking over your shoulder and checking the locks.

They're not dripping in blood and lurking with vicious rapists or child killers. There's no gory autopsies and psycho serial killers.

They're mysteries with an edge of menace. Puzzles with a little peril. A good story with some secrecy and problem solving thrown in. And, yes, okay then, they are best read cuddled up in a cozy armchair, preferably with a cute dog/cat/cuppa by your side.

Guilty as charged!

Of course many authors, readers and publishers go even further than that, and suggest that 'Cozy' means 'small town', means 'amateur sleuth', means compulsory addition of a cat/dog/craft/hobby. And for some it does. But it needn't be that defined.

For me, 'cozy crime' just means a bloody good mystery that's enjoyable to read, fun to solve, has a very clever plot and quirky, lovable characters, and still lets you sleep at night. Or, as they say: Comfortable, snug, warm and friendly.

So, to celebrate the genre that was thrust upon me but which I have quickly grown to adore, I wanted to give a thumbs up to some other wonderful cozy authors with whom I share Amazon digital shelves and a facebook writing group. I haven't read them all but I can vouch for their sincerity and devotion to the genre, whether they intended to write cozy or not.

Take your pick...

And happy (cozy) reading everyone!
xo Christina

* The Concise Oxford Dictionary

C.A. Larmer Author of novels at Self-Employed	Ritter Ames Fictional Escape Artist at Writer
Kathi Daley Kathi Daley Books at Writer	Julie Mulhern Washington and Lee University
Mollie Cox Bryan Mystery Writer at Kensington Publishing Corp.	Tonya Kappes USA Today Bestselling Author at Paranormal Mystery and Women's Fiction Joined about 8 months ago
Dianne Harman University of California, Los Angeles	Leigh Selfman
Julie Seedorf Writer at Self-Employed	Sylvia Selfman
Leslie Langtry University of Illinois at Springfield	Julie Moffett Works at Novelist
Amy Metz Author at Home	Christa Nardi University of Connecticut at Storrs
Celeste Burke Author at Writer	Julie Sarff Works at Community College of Denver
Zanna Mackenzie Works at Freelance Writer and Author	Kee Patterbee Georgia State University
Morgana Best Works at Author	Maureen Kovach Retired English teacher at Carey High School
Duncan Whitehead	Ava Mallory Author at Author Ava Mallory

Damn you, Kate Morton!

I blame it on The Lake House.

A lovely family saga, filled with jump-off-the-page prose and a mystery as delicious as caramel at its core, Aussie author Kate Morton's latest tome is such a page-turner, it turned me off.

Off writing that is.

I was supposed to be embellishing my latest book, a long-awaited sequel to my popular 'cozy' The Agatha Christie Book Club.

I had just one week off, camping with the hubby and kids, and big plans to capture every little detail I could find—the colour of people's hair, their turn of phrase, the way they used their hands and lips and eyes and words.

As a longtime novelist working from home, alone in my sunroom with nothing but my own reflection from the computer screen to draw from, these kinds of holidays—immersed in the beating heart of the real world—are essential, not just for my sanity, but for embellishing my books.

They awaken my inner-Thesaurus and add colour to an otherwise greyish story. 

Oooh, that woman has a funny way of walking, I'll scribble that down for safekeeping. What did that guy just yell at his wife? I love it, it's a keeper!

It was all supposed to be recorded in the little notebook I brought along. The one that came back empty, along with the sandy sheets and the scungy tomato sauce bottle. Yet my brain is now abuzz with stunning descriptions and extraordinary characters; it's just a pity they're the characters from someone else's novel!

So I blame it all on you Ms Morton. 

And while I thank you for the riveting read and the enjoyment of your story, I can't say I appreciated the distraction. Although I do respect the lesson I have now learned: Next time I go on holidays to work on a book, I'm leaving other people's books behind!

Happy conjuring everyone...
xo Christina

Dear Santa

If it's not too much trouble, this Christmas I'd like an extra hand.

Not figuratively, mind you. I'm talking an actual hand, one with five nifty fingers that can tap away at my computer keyboard while my other two (the now-weary ones) get on with the business of holidaying with my family—you know, holding the kids' hands as we head off to the beach. Holding the tent up while the hubby hammers in the pegs. Dipping a finger in the saucepan while the other hand stirs the gravy.

You see, I'm in conflict mode again. 

You'll recognise this from last year. I'm really looking forward to taking some time off and enjoying the festive season with my long-suffering family. I want to be there for them, look forward to it in fact, yet I'm really, really keen to get some extra writing in.

The truth is, I'm itching to blank out the diary and get on with finishing the second installment of my popular Agatha Christie Book Club series. It's way overdue and my readers are getting antsy.

Yet I can't do it without a spare hand. Really I can't.

And in case you're wondering, I don't need another brain, so please don't waste your time on that. I mean, don't quote me on this or anything, but it doesn't take a lot of smarts to lie in a hammock and chill out with the kids. I've been cooking Christmas roasts for a decade so that's a cinch, and as for the hubby? As long as I smile vaguely and laugh at his jokes, he may not even notice.

But a missing hand will be a disaster. How will I properly wrap the pressies, stuff the turkey or hug my loved ones? How on earth do I explain that?

Nope, sorry, only one thing will do, and that's a whole other hand to stay behind in my office and continue with the book. It needn't be new, I'm really not fussy. In fact, now I think about it, it's preferable that it's second-hand. An older woman's would be ideal! One that's worked as a secretary long before the fancy schmancy title Personal Assistant was invented and delete buttons appeared on strange contraptions called computers.

There is no hand more efficient than an elderly secretary who got her chops on a rusty typewriter sans carbon paper and White Out.

But if you can't manage that, all I ask is that it has a pretty good word-per-tap count. That way I can leave it to get on with the business of typing my next novel, while I get back to the busyness of the holidays.

Is that too much to ask? 

I hope not, Santa. After all, not all of us have a team of trusty elves hanging around to do our handiwork.

Thanking you in advance and with much anticipation...

xo Christina
PS: Feel free to throw in a nose for a good story while you're at it.

Why more real readers must review (and the more real your review the better!)

There's been a lot of gossip lately about Amazon suing people who put false positive reviews on their website. And I don't blame them. Who needs to be spruiked while looking for a book? 

But its not just overly gushing, clearly fake favourable reviews they have to watch out for.

As a longtime mystery writer and member of various facebook writing groups—from best-selling cozy mystery writers to womens' author groups—one of the most common complaints I hear about is false unfavourble reviews.

And we're not talking about simple dissing of books.

It's one thing to say, "I read it, I didn't like it, here's why..."

It's quite another to blatantly lie about a book out of malice or to destroy a competitor. Luckily this hasn't really happened to me, but I know of countless fellow authors—clearly more successful than me, which is why they're being targeted—who have really struggled with it. One author of very successful, very benign cozy mysteries, complete with cute kitty cats, had a reviewer slam her book for all its "cursing and disgusting eroticism". She was mortfied.

There's not so much as a 'damn' or a revealed midriff anywhere in the text.

Desperate to have the false review removed lest it turn off her devoted fanbase, she approached Amazon and was initially told there was nothing they could do. Eventually, after much effort and enormous grief on her part, Amazon finally agreed to "review the review" — which means, they can post it back up if they decide it should stand.

Yet it contains total lies.

The worst that ever happened to me was a reviewer who wrote about how much she enjoyed one of my books and would have given it five stars, "if it wasn't for the missing pages". This was a few years ago and I was shocked. Had I stuffed up the formatting? I downloaded copies of the relevant book on every device I could get my hands on to see what she meant.

There were NO missing pages. All my books are complete. I then alerted Amazon and was told "she's entitled to her opinion". Yet this wasn't an 'opinion', this was incorrect and misleading information. I knew that it could put readers off because, let's face it, who wants to buy a book with 'missing pages'?

I tried to argue that this reviewer had her facts wrong, but they refused to enter into any more communication on this. And so the review stands. I wrote a comment under her review, debunking it, but there's little more I can do.

Looking back on it, I really can't say whether that reviewer was trying to be sneakily malicious or really did believe some pages were missing. Perhaps her download had glitched at the time? What I do know, however, is that some other reviewers are deliberately cruel. Luckily, I have never fallen foul of them, but many of my fellow writers have. And we have come to conclude that it can only be other authors who are doing this, other authors who are trying to sabotage the competition so they can sell more of their books. If not them, who?

Who would deliberately falsify a review? What would be the point?

Can people really be that nasty?

I dearly hope not, but this is my request of you, dear readers. If you can find a minute—and that's all it takes, I promise you—jot a quick review on Amazon each time you finish a book. It doesn't have to be my book; just whatever book you buy. Simply write a sentence or two about what you liked or didn't like and give it a star rating.

Please be sure to make it honest, and make it believeable, and it will not only pass muster with Amazon, but it will make a writer's day. And you will be doing fellow readers a service.

What you may not fully appreciate is that each genuine review you write, gives other potential readers a chance to really understand what the book is about, what it's like, what's to love and what's to loathe. Then they can go in, eyes wide open, armed with that information before they download that book.

Even better, the more genuine reviews that authors receive, the more books we tend to sell, the more money we make, the more chance we have of writing another one. After all, writers don't live on verbal praise alone. Pats on the back from our family and friends might make us feel good, but they don't pay the bills.

For those of you who have reviewed my books with true candour, I thank you from the bottom of my heart—whether you liked my book or not. Because, to me, that's not the real issue.

The real issue is: is the review real?

Happy reading (and reviewing) everyone.
xo Christina