"Are you okay, babe?" asked my husband, looking up from a book on Napoleon.
"No I am not okay!" I wailed. "That book was the worst book I think I have ever read. And I have read a lot of books in my time."
"You've written a few, too," the hubby suggested, now cowering behind Napoleon.
"Exactly, so I should be a little less harsh than your average reviewer, but... arrrrgggh!"
"You didn't like it?"
I glared at him, rolled over, and tried to block it from my mind as I attempted to fall asleep. It was like blocking out the sun in the Sahara.
So what book got me so riled up and kept me tossing and turning all night?
I'd love to tell you, really I would, but I think I need another 24 hours to take a deep breath, get some perspective, and try to give the author the benefit of the doubt. I've received harsh reviews in my time and I don't want to give one unfairly. But just between you and me, I can't see my anger diminishing anytime soon. I have a feeling my critique will only grow crueller by this time tomorrow.
Until then, allow me to give you some clues to determine which book—of all the books in all the world—has made me so cranky. I wonder if you can work it out. If you do think you know the answer, jot a comment below. If you're right, you'll score yourself a copy of one of my mystery novels.* One I hope won't end up strewn across the floor in your bedroom.
Clue 1: They say imitation is the greatest form of flattery but this dame would not be impressed.
Clue 2: There's characters and there's charicatures. And then there's over-the-top codswallop.
Clue 3: When all else fails, throw in another line of French. Oui? (Non!!!!)
Clue 4: What's old is new, except when it's so bad it should never have existed.
Happy guessing everyone and may you have a more peaceful reading session in your bed tonight!
*Offer applies to the first 3 respondents