Wednesday 14 December 2016

New Posthumous Murder Mystery - AVAILABLE FOR PREORDER

"So there’s been a murder. My murder, in fact, but please don’t waste time feeling sorry for me. Your tears and platitudes are no use to me now. I need your help to solve this thing, and I need it fast… I need to know, before I choof off into eternity, that my 13-year-old son did not murder me..."



So begins the first in my new Posthumous Mystery Series, a series that features the newly departed working hard to solve the mystery of their murders.

In this one, single mum Ludovica Gold is stabbed one ordinary Sunday morning while making toast. With her son's sneakers the last thing she sees before darkness descends, Lulu (as she's known) refuses to go to eternity thinking her son is a killer. With her dead granny beckoning furiously from the tunnel, she takes us on an aerial survey of the crime scene and a journey through her conflicting memories to try to uncover whodunnit

Will the truth set her free or destroy everything she ever knew about herself and her loved ones?

I loved writing this one and can not wait to share it with you. It's a new idea for me, a whole new venture, and I'd love to hear your comments, on both the idea and the cover, above.

Do Not Go Gentle is now available as a pre-order at Amazon and Smashwords, and will be officially released on December 30. Look out for it.

Happy reading everyone!
xo Christina

Sunday 4 December 2016

Last Chance to Win

Looking for a decent read as the holidays approach? How about a freebie? Don't forget I've teamed up with a dynamic group of cozy mystery writers to offer you one of 17 prizes, including free, signed paperback copies of books by the likes of Dianne HarmanLarissa ReinhartCee Cee JamesJulie MoffettCarolyn Haines, Ritter Ames, Kathi Daley and Tonya Kappes (to name just a few).



You also have a chance to score FREE e-books just for entering. To do that, click on the following link: Cozy Mystery Book Giveaway

Good luck, guys, and keep an eye out for my latest mystery which is due out after Christmas.

Happy reading (and winning) everyone!

xo Christina

Sunday 27 November 2016

Mega Cozy Mystery Giveaway


Regular readers will know I've been busily tapping away at my latest novel and may even be happy to hear it is finished and goes to my editor this week (hurrah!). Look out for upcoming tidbits on the book, cover reveal and so forth.

Until then....

I'm rewarding your patience with another wonderful giveaway. This time I've teamed up with an extraordinary collection of best-selling cozy mystery authors to give you the chance to win one of 17 prizes, including free, signed paperback copies of books by the likes of Dianne Harman, Larissa Reinhart, Cee Cee James, Julie Moffett, Carolyn Haines, Ritter Ames, Kathi Daley and Tonya Kappes (to name just a few).

You also have a chance to score FREE e-books just for entering. To do that, click on the following link: Cozy Mystery Book Giveaway

Good luck, guys, and don't forget to pop back in to find out more about my latest mystery which is due out after Christmas.

Happy reading (and winning) everyone!

xo Christina


Monday 31 October 2016

A little less conversation…

"Tap, tap, tap…" Can you hear that? "Tap, tap… (expletive, expletive), tap tap…"

I'm in the final throes of a whole new mystery novel and, apart from the clickety-clack of my old smudged keyboard (and the odd muttered curse), things have been quiet around here lately.

And they're about to get even quieter.

I've given myself exactly two weeks to finish the first draft, and another two weeks to do the rewrite, which means a little less conversation and a little more typing, baby.

It also means no more blogs for a bit. Forgive my silence, people, but be assured the result will be worth it. My next book is a newbie for me, a whole new direction. I can't reveal too much yet but I am sure you'll love it, if only for the sheer novelty factor. No one is doing anything quite like this one at the moment. I'm very excited, but I have a lot of work to do before it's complete.

And I need to get on with it or my editor will skin me alive.

Until we chat again, keep an eye on Amazon, Twitter and Facebook. I'll still be doing the odd promotions and sales of my other books.

For now, though, I have a keyboard waiting and an editor wielding a knife...

Happy tapping everyone!

xo Christina

Sunday 9 October 2016

One cruise you can afford to take

Just a quick heads up: I'm holding a 99c sale for my latest crime novel Murder on the Orient (SS) at Amazon, Apple, Nook, Kobo, Smashwords et al.

This is the second in the popular Agatha Christie Book Club series and follows the gang as they scramble across the gangplank and onto a cruise that's less R&R and a lot more "Ahhhhh!"

It starts with a passenger missing overboard. It ends with the book club utilising their 'leetle grey cells' (a la Hercule Poirot) to solve a series of increasingly violent crimes.

There's a wealthy widow dead in her bed. Another passenger stabbed in the ship's gym. And who the hell has been stealing the Captain's wife's designer kaftans?!

This book—set on a modern replica of a cruise ship that really did sail the high seas back in Agatha Christie's days—was a lot of fun to write and is a baffling one to solve if my reviewers are anything to go by.

But you be the judge! Download your 99c ebook now and jump aboard for the ride. It won't be for sale for long.

Happy (cruisy) reading everyone!

xo Christina

Thursday 29 September 2016

What do you think makes a good story?

I once joined my local writers' group purely for the pleasure of meeting fellow wordsmiths. Yet I came away with a whole new appreciation of what it means to write. It seemed, after just two stints with the group, that my view of what makes a story great varied widely to others.


It was both a revelation and an inspiration that still echoes years later.

Writer, Machine, To Write

But first the revelation…

It was some years ago now. I had been toying with the idea of writing a crime novel for a long time but needed a kick up the proverbial. Always a very solitary writer, I have never really enjoyed collaborating with others on written pieces, and this despite over a decade in the media industry. This time, however, I decided I needed to shake things up.

It was time to stick my head out of my cave and connect with others.

So I looked up the number of my local writing group and gave them a buzz. I was quickly and enthusiastically welcomed to come along to their next session, the following week, at a local cafe. Which I did.

Now, I'm not sure how most writers' groups work, having never been to one, but this one followed a fairly simple routine. We would all settle in at the caf', order our preferred poison (latte and choc brownie for me in case you're curious) and begin to discuss what we'd been writing that previous week. Eventually a few brave souls would offer to read a bit of theirs out, and the rest of us would offer words of encouragement, wishing we had the courage to do likewise. Then, when that was over, someone would offer up a 'writing exercise'.

This happened each week, apparently, but always had a different focus. Today the focus was a postcard someone had brought along. It was of a field of poppies, a shed in the far distance, and a bleak sky. We were to use that as inspiration to write, giving ourselves 10 minutes to do so before each reading our offering at the end.

I was nervous but excited. Invigorated, too. So off I scribbled! I wrote with fervour and ferocity, scratching down the tale of a child lost, of a shed that offered redemption from the threatening night, of a bird that helped the child find her way home.

There was a beginning, a middle and an end. I thought I had done good.

Then, the 10 minutes up, we each took turns to read our stories out. Turns out I had not done 'good' so much as 'different'.

The first woman who read hers had latched on to that shed and described it in minutiae, every rotting timber floorboard and cobweb-covered crevice. Another writer rambled about the clouds above in vivid, florid detail. A third was fixated with the mood, the ambience, the bleaky bleakness of the night sky.

Not one of the eight writers had an actual story of any kind. Or none that I could see. They had words, they had adjectives, metaphores and similes. But none went anywhere. None did anything.

Nothing bloody happened!


Had I misunderstood the exercise? Were we just supposed to describe the postcard but not actually tell a story?

It was now, finally, my turn to read aloud and I was almost too scared to do so. For a few terrifying minutes I felt like a failure. I hadn't stopped to spend too much of my ten precious minutes on description. I had simply created a story, set up a conflict, and resolved it at the end.

They all listened politely, nodded their heads and smiled. I don't know if any of them even noticed the difference but I sure did.

The following week the focus for the free-writing exercise was a small, pink crystal someone had brought in, and I tried very hard to be descriptive, really I did. But ten minutes later, eight writers had described the crystal in exquisite detail and one had told of how an unassuming crystal had saved the diamond queen from the demon rocks.

That was the last time I attended that group.

It's not that I thought myself better than those writers, or worse for that matter. It's not that they weren't talented. It's just that their idea of writing differed so markedly to mine.

Prose vs plot


I learned that day that there are at least two types of writers: those who focus on prose and those who focus on plot. And I am so clearly—so unapologetically—in the latter. I love words, really I do, but in my world they have a purpose that goes beyong describing stuff. They must advance a plot. They must present a story. They must DO SOMETHING! Otherwise, they're just, er, words.

Words are like bricks in a wall. Pretty bricks make for a pretty wall, but I'm more interested in where that wall leads, and what the hell lies behind it.

It's little wonder, then, that I went on to forge a career as a mystery writer (which must be second only to sci-fi in the tightly plotted genres, surely?).

Yet sometimes, in quiet moments when I find my writing verging on the florid, I think back to that group and those descriptive writers. And I know that they inspired me in ways I never realised at the time. They showed me that while I may be no poet, no siree, I sure know how to tell a decent story, and isn't that what good writing is really all about?

It is in my book.

Happy plotting everyone!

xo Christina

Wednesday 31 August 2016

The Day I Valued Myself (kaching)

When I'm not bumping off people in my books I'm writing freelance articles for both 'old' media (paper magazines, remember them?) and 'new' (Yahoo, HuffPost et al). I've been a journalist for so many years I would seriously age myself if I even whispered the number, but take it from me. A LOT.




And for the most part it's been a breeze. I've earned a steady income, always had a swag of stories under my belt and could charge a decent rate. So much so, I struggled to take time off to write my fiction. It was a lovely conundrum. At my peak I had 25 freelance articles lined up.

It was a beautiful thing. Busy, but beautiful.

Then the internet—which had made it such a beautiful, busy thing—turned against me and suddenly everyone was a writer, everyone had a blog and nobody wanted to pay anybody a decent rate for anything.

As a consequence, all of the old magazines were closing down, the freelance market was flooded with writers, good and bad, and earning a quid became hard yakka.

C'est la vie, right? Suck it up.

Well, things reached a new low the other day when a new editor reached out to me and offered me some work, for less than half of what I usually get paid. A lot less. But that wasn't the low. I mean all power to the woman. She's starting a new magazine and has no advertisers lined up yet. Can't blame her for having a crack.

Oh no, dear readers, the low came when I began to seriously contemplate doing it! After decades exhaustively building my portfolio, earning experience as an editor of several national magazines and a bureau chief in three cities including New York and London, I was considering selling myself short.

For a few hours there I thought:

"Maybe I should just accept that lowly wage. What if nothing else comes in? What if this is the story of my life now? Maybe I should just get over myself and start earning less."

Then I gave myself a shake, remembered how well my fiction is doing (did I really need the pittance she was offering?) and decided I was worth so much more than that. If I accepted that ridiculously low fee, it would be a very slippery slope to working for absolutely nothing. And why should I do that? I don't need to build my portfolio. I don't need the exposure. Don't even really need the money, not to get by, anyway.

But it goes deeper than that. It goes to basic fairness.

Think about it. Imagine going in and saying to your hairdresser/builder/plumber/dentist, "I'm only going to pay you half what you usually charge. Cool? Now, about that tint... "

It's not fair. It's not right. Enough was enough. I decided then that I'd rather NOT work as a freelancer anymore than give my power away for nothing.

So, I emailed the editor back, politely declined her offer and wished her all the best with her new venture.

Then exactly an hour later—I kid you not, people, ONE HOUR LATER—another editor I had never met emailed to offer me work on her publication. But this editor wanted to pay me MORE than I usually get paid. Was I up for it?

Yah-huh!!

It wasn't just that it was more money. It was what I should be earning after 30 years in this business, 15 of them as a freelancer. (Damn did I say those numbers aloud?)

There's a moral here, guys, in case you didn't catch it. It's a pretty simple one, and one I hope to remember in all areas of my life:

Believe in yourself, belief in your true worth, and the rest will follow 
(although I can't guarantee it'll follow that quickly! One hour. Extraordinary.)

Happy reading—and, hopefully, earning—everyone.

xo Christina

Wednesday 10 August 2016

Win a Free Paperback Copy of Murder on the Orient (SS)

Last month you had the opportunity to win the first book in the Agatha Christie Book Club series and I'm now offering you the chance to score a paperback copy of book 2: Murder on the Orient (SS)!


Just log in (or sign up) with Goodreads and head to their Giveaways section, or click on this link: GoodreadsComp.

Alternatively, use the following html:
https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/196440-murder-on-the-orient-ss-the-agatha-christie-book-club-2

The competition is open until August 26 so get in quick.

If you're not a member of Goodreads or don't wish to sign up, never fear. Just check out my earlier blog and you could win a free e-copy of this or any book of your choice.

Happy (free) reading everyone!

xo Christina

Monday 8 August 2016

Check out my revamped cover and win a free e-book

As my devoted readers will know, I have a naughty knack of fiddling with my book covers whenever I get a chance. I love design and am often looking at ways to make my covers stronger, slicker and reach a broader audience.

Well, oops, I did it again!

Or, at least, my favourite cover designer Stuart Eadie did. As you can see from the image below, he's redesigned the cover of the first book in my Ghostwriter Mystery series, Killer Twist. This time, however, you won't notice a huge difference. It's just a minor revamp, a tiny polish, a strategic yet subtle appeal to those for whom first impressions count. I do hope you like it.


Over the next month Stu and I will be revamping all six covers in the series, so stay tuned as each new look hits the digital stands.

Until then, I'd love to hear your thoughts! I'm offering a free e-book* to the first 10 respondents, so don't hesitate to leave a comment below or email me directly: christina.larmer@gmail.com

Happy (revamped) reading everyone!
xo Christina

*NB: this competition is open for one full month from first publication of blog, and winners get to choose an e-copy of any of my nine C.A. Larmer novels, which can be found at Amazon. Good luck!

Tuesday 2 August 2016

The Ikea Theory on Writing (it's just as unfathomable)

I was chatting to a neighbour the other day, groaning about a particularly badly written novel I was in the middle of editing.

"Some people just shouldn't write books," I said. "It's woeful and I'm struggling to make sense of it."

"Oh dear," he replied. "Hopefully she'll just self-publish and be done with it."

I was gobsmacked.

What did he mean? Was he saying that self-publishing is only for woeful writers? Was he saying that self-published books didn't go anywhere so it would get lost in a giant black sludgepile and save us all the agony?

Whatever my neighbour was saying, it didn't bode well for me.

While I have had a book traditionally published, I now self-publish my own novels, and have nine indie books available on all the major channels. I sold over 3,000 copies last month on Amazon alone and have an average four star rating. I DIY, and I do so proudly.

Or at least I did, until we had our little roadside chat.

Despite my humiliation, I didn't call my neighbour on his words because I didn't want to embarrass him. He's actually a decent bloke and I knew that he knew I self-published books, so would be mortified by what he'd just said. I couldn't bear the look in his eyes when he realised his faux pas, the frantic backpedal, the attempt to swallow words and attitudes that were, frankly, indigestible.

Come on, guys, let's remove the scales from our eyes and modern up.

We no longer believe that the produce sold at Woolworths and Coles is better than produce from the farmers' market. That's laughable. We accept that mass produced furniture from Ikea usually fails in comparison to bespoke pieces made by a local carpenter. Yet we still cling on to the idea that if there's a Big Publisher behind a book, it must be somehow better. Surely we're better than that? Surely we're smarter? Surely we've read anything by Tara Moss, Mary Higgins Clark or Lynda La Plante?



Product DetailsProduct DetailsProduct Details

Now before you get up in arms and accuse me of my own bias, allow me to qualify: I know all three traditionally published mystery authors are HUGELY successful and have an enormous fan base, and all power to them. I'm not saying their work is crap, not at all. But I could name at least 50 indie mystery authors I've read who do a FAR SUPERIOR job. These lesser-known authors create prose that is so much richer, characters who are far less cliche, and plots that leave you gripping the edge of your bed each night.

Yet by destiny or design, they have gone the independent route, and while some are doing really well, others are struggling. And they're struggling thanks to the attitudes of people like my neighbour who clearly wouldn't give them a whirl because they haven't got the words Pan Macmillan or Penguin or Harper Collins somewhere in the opening pages.

How short sighted of him, and oh how he's missing out!

The changing tide
The indie book publishing world IS changing, and it's changing fast. Sales are zooming, profits are booming, and many writers now choose to go it alone. Yet the general population has a looooong way to go to catch up. My neighbour was not trying to be insulting, he just has a bias that should be left in the 20th century where it belongs.

Stories are stories are stories. It shouldn't matter about format or publisher. That's an irrelevance.

All I ask today, dear readers, is that you give a book credit based on its content, not the imprint at the front. Take a look at the star rating. Look at the reviews. Read the first few chapters before you diss or dismiss. It's that simple.

Oh and be careful what you say to your neighbours. They might have just published another indie novel and be feeling pretty proud of themselves. Let's give them a pat on the back not a silent slap.

Happy (unbiased) reading everyone.
xo Christina

Wednesday 13 July 2016

When one door shuts...

Image result for ageismI knew the second our eyes met that I was doomed.

The young woman glanced up from her iPhone 6, caught my eye, frowned slightly (ever so slightly) then kept glancing around, her eyes boring into the younger women gathered in the foyer around me. She had a kind of pleading, desperate look about her.

Trying not to frown in response (lest the crow's-feet scare her further) I wedged my lips into a bright smile, hid my old Samsung mobile phone in my handbag, and strode confidently across the room towards the leather sofa where she was now perched.

"Amber?" I called out as I narrowed in.

The website editor looked up at me and blinked a few times before it hit. "Christina?" she asked, dubiously. I nodded, extending one hand to shake hers. "Oh! Right. Sorry, I didn't see you there, please take a seat."

As she waved me into the chair beside her, I wondered whether I should save us both the time and simply turn around and walk away. Then I internally slapped myself for being so defeatist, sat down and attempted to redazzle her with my extensive resume.

I say 'redazzle' because Amber was already familiar with my work. We had met via email the month before and "awed" by my extensive writing experience (which includes editing national magazines, freelancing for 15 years, and running bureaus in London, NY and LA), she had given me four internet articles to write in just two weeks. I did them promptly, there were no complaints and that's when I let my guard down. I suggested we meet in person. I was coming to town and thought it would be lovely. But as soon as I saw the trendily dressed 20-something glance straight past me in the foyer of her office block I knew I had misstepped.

The woman was polite, she was responsive, she promised me more work. And then, after just ten minutes, she began to fiddle nervously with her iPhone and made her excuses. I thanked her for her time, returned home and proceeded not to hear from her. As I feared I wouldn't. 

Such is the life of an ageing female* journalist. 

Why am I so negative I hear you ask? 


You do the maths: 
Before meeting me in person = 4 freelance articles in 2 weeks
After meeting me in person = 0 freelance articles in 12 weeks (and counting)

"She was startled by my age," I told a friend who rolled her eyes in reply. "No, seriously, she seemed almost shocked to be chatting to a 40-something about writing for her hip new website. She was polite enough but she couldn't get rid of me fast enough and has not replied to a single email since I returned home. Not even a 'thanks anyway'. She's blocked me, dumped me. Thrown me on the scrap heap."

"Oh you're being pathetic," my friend scoffed. "Maybe she's just busy."

"For three months? I think not."

I don't blame Amber, not really. I was a young editor once. I probably dismissed older people, too, without even realising I was doing it. When I was 21, 30 seemed ancient, so to sit across from a 48-year-old must have felt prehistoric.

I wonder how 50-, 60- and 70-somethings do it, and I take off my hat to those who've survived and flourished in an industry that's hard enough no matter what your age. To them I must sound like a classic 'cry baby', and I apologise for that. I know I'm not old, not AT ALL, but in Amber's eyes I was well past my prime. It's all relative, isn't it?

Of course my defeatist attitude would not have helped. I understand that, too. Perhaps I had given up before I even sat down, but a decade of dwindling job offers and gradually quietening phones has done that to me. And I am not alone.

It IS harder to find work as you get older, especially in young industries like the internet and dying industries like journalism. But I don't hold it against Amber and I don't hold it against the industries because the very thing that has been killing off my traditional writing work, has enabled my new career as a fiction writer. And for that I am eternally grateful.

Thanks to the 'world wide web', I can self-publish my own books from home. I can reach out to my own audience (hello there!), promote my own work, and make a really lovely living without leaving my living room.

It has nothing to do with my age or my looks or how funky my phone is. I don't need the Ambers of the world to get ahead in the indie publishing world, and it's a liberating feeling.

So it's swings and roundabouts. When one door shuts... and all that.

I write this blog, not for a pity party but as a reminder to all that while age shouldn't matter, it probably does. But it must never hold us back. My short-lived career at the hip website may be over, but there's a silver lining: I now have more time to focus on my fiction, and you can guess who's getting slaughtered in my next crime novel (cue sinister laughter now).

The upshot of aging


Readers at Amazon and Apple and Nook don't seem to care what I look like or what I'm wearing or what mobile phone is in my daggy handbag. They just want great stories, and here's the kicker—the older I get, the better my stories become. That's the great thing about getting older: your writing matures right along with you.

So thanks for all your support over the years, dear readers, and happy reading everyone, no matter how old you are.

xo Christina
*NB: I don't know whether this is a phenomenon exclusive to women, I sincerely doubt it, but I'd love to hear from men on that score. In fact, I'd love to hear from ALL of you - men and women, old and young. Just drop a comment below and let me know if you've ever experienced ageism at work or in life.

Tuesday 21 June 2016

4th of July Giveaway (I'm in great company!)

NEWSFLASH: This competition is now over. 
A giant CONGRATULATIONS to Jeanine who has not only scored herself 21 Amazon giftcards (at $10 each no less), she has also scored 21 FREE mystery e-books from 21 of the brightest writers across the globe. Jeanine's kindle must be jam-packed and groaning with pleasure! 
Well played, J.
xo CA


I love my American friends, and I love my American author friends even more! Not only have they been so incredibly inclusive— sharing writerly advice, issues, inspiration and feedback— they're a lot of fun and, gasp, incredibly successful.

Some of my mystery author Facebook friends are consistently on Amazon's Top 10 best-seller lists. They clearly have a mammoth fan base and they write and sell squillions of books.

But that's not what I love about them.

What I love is the fact that they always take the time—usually while in the middle of writing another best-seller— to answer my crazy author queries, like:

"Help! I'm desperate for book reviews, how do you get so many?!" 
and 
"I need to kill someone with very little blood splatter, any tips?"

They're a constant, comforting shoulder to cry on but know just when to tell me to suck it up, sit back at my keyboard and keep on going (love that about the Amercians!) And they have the most surprising sense of humour, often sharing posts that leave me giggling like a schoolgirl (usually involving coffee, chocolate and cuddly creatures).

That's why, when they asked me to be involved in their latest giveway - a mega 4th of July 'Rafflecopter' - I couldn't say "yes!" fast enough.


I'm in illustrious company. Joining me in this uber generous comp are Big Guns like Kathi Daley, Dianne Harman, Julie Moffett, Tonya Kappes, Ritter Ames and Duncan Whitehead to name just a few (pls check out the full glittering list below).

For those who want to be in the running, 
here's what it involves:

* 21 authors
* 21 ebooks
* $210 in Amazon Gift Cards
* And one Grand Prize Winner!

The contest runs until midnight on July 4 and the winner will be announced the following day. Gift cards are in US dollars from Amazon.com

For more information, head to the website, pop in your entry and keep those fingers crossed.

Until July 4... Happy reading (and book winning) everyone!

xo Christina

4TH OF JULY GIVEAWAY - PARTICIPATING AUTHORS
* Kathi Daley
* Dianne Harman
* Anna Celeste Burke
* Leslie Langtry
* Ritter Ames
* Duncan Whitehead
* Julie Mulhern
* Julie Seedorf
* Tonya Kappes
* Maggie West
* Jane Firebaugh
* C.A.Larmer
* Cassidy Salem
* Zanna Mackenzie
* Leigh Selfman
* Linda Crowder
* Julie Moffett
* Christa Nardi
* Maureen Howard
* Diane Rapp
* Pam Kelley

xo

4th of July Giveaway (I'm in great company!)

NEWSFLASH: This compeition is now over. 
A giant CONGRATULATIONS to Jeanine who has not only scored herself 21 Amazon giftcards (at $10 each no less), she has also scored 21 FREE mystery e-books from 21 of the brightest writers across the globe. Jeanine's kindle must be jam-packed and groaning with pleasure! 
Well played, J.
xo CA


I love my American friends, and I love my American author friends even more! Not only have they been so incredibly inclusive— sharing writerly advice, issues, inspiration and feedback— they're a lot of fun and, gasp, incredibly successful.

Some of my mystery author Facebook friends are consistently on Amazon's Top 10 best-seller lists. They clearly have a mammoth fan base and they write and sell squillions of books.

But that's not what I love about them.

What I love is the fact that they always take the time—usually while in the middle of writing another best-seller— to answer my crazy author queries, like:

"Help! I'm desperate for book reviews, how do you get so many?!" 
and 
"I need to kill someone with very little blood splatter, any tips?"

They're a constant, comforting shoulder to cry on but know just when to tell me to suck it up, sit back at my keyboard and keep on going (love that about the Amercians!) And they have the most surprising sense of humour, often sharing posts that leave me giggling like a schoolgirl (usually involving coffee, chocolate and cuddly creatures).

That's why, when they asked me to be involved in their latest giveway - a mega 4th of July 'Rafflecopter' - I couldn't say "yes!" fast enough.


I'm in illustrious company. Joining me in this uber generous comp are Big Guns like Kathi Daley, Dianne Harman, Julie Moffett, Tonya Kappes, Ritter Ames and Duncan Whitehead to name just a few (pls check out the full glittering list below).

For those who want to be in the running, 
here's what it involves:

* 21 authors
* 21 ebooks
* $210 in Amazon Gift Cards
* And one Grand Prize Winner!

The contest runs until midnight on July 4 and the winner will be announced the following day. Gift cards are in US dollars from Amazon.com

For more information, head to the website, pop in your entry and keep those fingers crossed.

Until July 4... Happy reading (and book winning) everyone!

xo Christina

4TH OF JULY GIVEAWAY - PARTICIPATING AUTHORS
* Kathi Daley
* Dianne Harman
* Anna Celeste Burke
* Leslie Langtry
* Ritter Ames
* Duncan Whitehead
* Julie Mulhern
* Julie Seedorf
* Tonya Kappes
* Maggie West
* Jane Firebaugh
* C.A.Larmer
* Cassidy Salem
* Zanna Mackenzie
* Leigh Selfman
* Linda Crowder
* Julie Moffett
* Christa Nardi
* Maureen Howard
* Diane Rapp
* Pam Kelley

xo

Wednesday 8 June 2016

Thinking of writing a book? Proceed with caution...

Thinking of writing a book? Great. Now take a deep breath, get over yourself, and back away from that pen!

Sound harsh?

I moonlight (by day) as a book editor and if there's one thing I've learned it's that, while everyone might have a book in them—all humans have stories to share, and share they should—not everyone should actually be writing one.

I don't say that out of malice or meanspiritedness. I say that as an editor who has spent countless hours wading through endless pages of absolute dross, trying to knock them into some kind of shape.

Product DetailsAnd it pisses me off.


Sorry, but, hey, let's all get a grip. We need to know our limitations, surely? We can pretend to live in a world where everything is possible, but actually it's not. Not really.

I can't run more than a few metres without giggling and spluttering, so I'm not entering any racing meets anytime soon. Nor should I. I can't waitress to save myself. I tried it, several times. My tips were brilliant—only because I was so appalling, the poor punters felt sorry for me—but I was bloody hopeless. As I snapped corks inside wine bottles and splashed sauces all over patrons, I quickly learned, this was not the job for me. Which was a pity because I was backpacking through Europe and really needed the cash. But I stopped and applied for jobs on the local rags instead, where I flourished.

Similarly, I'm pretty sure I'd make a dreadful nurse, accountant, engineer and architect. I can't play a tune to save my life so music's out, and don't get me started on my building, gardening and PR skills.

Some things are out of my scope. Some things are beyond me. And while I can always have a crack, I'd be better off hiring someone to do all of the above for me, and focusing on what I do fairly competently - writing, editing, self-publishing and journalism. I'm not saying I'm brilliant at all of those things, but I can pull them off. Some people can't even come close.

Yet still they try


So many people think that writing is one of those things that everyone can do. It's no longer deemed a professional skill, which it once was. It's now open slather. A cinch!

Got a great story in you? Just jot it down and make a motza. Start a blog. Write your memoir and bore family senseless with extraordinarily poor writing, sentence structure, punctuation and descriptions.

This flippant attitude to writing is, frankly, patronising to those of us who do it for a living. And it's annoying as all hell.

My experience editing other people's books shows, in no uncertain terms, that you can put lipstick on a pig but that doesn't change the fact that it's still a pig. Oink, oink!

Sorry, that's the truth.

And yes, sure, good on you for having a go! Really, it does take time, effort (blood and tears), or it should if you're doing it properly. But if you're failing at it, if it's just not working, if there's more red ink on the page than black, it's okay to admit that you JUST CAN'T DO IT. So wave the white flag, hand the manuscript over to a professional, and get on with what YOU do best. Your day job, I'd suggest.

Stephen King said it beautifully in the bible on this subject: On Writing: A Memoir

"No matter how much I want to encourage the man or woman trying for the first time to write seriously, I can't lie and say there are no bad writers. Sorry, but there are lots of bad writers. Some are on staff at your local newspaper… Some have scribbled their way to homes in the Caribbean, leaving a trail of pulsing adverbs, wooden characters, and vile passive-voice constructions behind them…
It is impossible to make a competent writer out of a bad writer… it is possible, with lots of hard work, dedication, and timely help, to make a good writer out of a merely competent one."

This is important so listen up: I'm not talking about a good writer or a merely competent writer here. I am talking about the bad writer, of which there are many currently attempting to write books.

Just say no


If you are a bad writer—and, deep down, you probably know if you are—then pop your pen aside, hand your story to someone else to write, and get on with something else. King suggests washing the car (ouch!)

Harsh? Yes. True? Yes! And the truth can really hurt.

What do you think?


Jot me a comment and join the debate. I'm always keen to hear from you, and I promise I won't criticise your writing, at least not in the comment section  :-)

Happy reading (and writing if it's in you), everyone!

xo Christina

Tuesday 17 May 2016

20 FREE copies of new e-book to giveaway!

With the launch of my new Agatha Christie Book Club—Murder on the Orient (SS)—I'm giving my devoted blog readers a chance to win one of 20 free copies of the e-book!

Image result for agatha Christie images

That's right, baby, TWENTY!!

All you have to do—and it's uber easy—is jot down the name of your favourite Agatha Christie Book. I mean, really? Could it be an easier?

Do you adore Murder on the Orient Express, as I do? Is Evil Under the Sun a smarter choice? What about something more cryptic like The ABC Murders or Peril at End House?

Image result for agatha Christie booksDame Christie wrote around 82 detective novels, so you've got plenty of books to choose from.

Just jot the title in the comment box below or, if you'd like more privacy, via a direct email to me, and I'll get back to you if you're one of the first 20: christina.larmer@gmail.com

That's right—there is no right or wrong answer. Just get in quick!

I promise NOT to use your name and email for any other purpose so please don't worry about that. I just want to share my story with other Christie fanatics, and I want to do it fast.

So, let's recap…

Six Steps to Success

Step 1: Stop screaming at this wondrous opportunity and get a grip!
Step 2: Think about all of the Dame's many fantastic whodunnits and decide which one takes the cake. Can't recall them all? Try: the Agatha Christie website or Wikipedia.
Step 3: Write down the name of that chosen book in the comment box below, or via email to me.
Step 4: Sit back, take a breath and wait to hear if you're the lucky winner. (Gasp.)
Step 5: If you ARE the lucky winner, just let me know which format you prefer (for Kindle, iPad etc) and wait for it to be emailed directly to you.
Step 6: Download the book then sit back, take a breath, and enjoy the read :-)

Good luck everyone and thanks, once again, for all your support! I couldn't have done it without you.

xo Christina

Thursday 12 May 2016

This Black Friday the real SS Orient is back from the dead!

Today I'm donning my finest boat shoes and popping on the captain's hat for the official launch of the Agatha Christie Book Club 2—Murder on the Orient (SS). But don't worry! 

I'm not going to bore you senseless with a sales pitch here—check out your preferred e-retailer for that. Instead I'm going to remind you where I got the idea from and how true synchronicity works, courtesy of my Author's Note from the book (see below). 

I think the backstory is almost as fascinating as my novel. Damn, there I go with the sales pitch…

S.S Orient (5,390 tons),  Orient liner which made its maiden voyage to
                     Australia in 1879. From a lithograph after T.G. Dutton at the National
                     Maritime Museum, Greenwich, U.K. (PAH5285) 

Murder on the Orient (SS): A Note from the Author


"When I started conjuring up the second adventure for the Agatha Christie Book Club I wanted to take them on an exotic journey à la the infamous Orient Express, one of my favourite Poirot settings, and began looking around for ideas.

Boy, did I get lucky!
Worsley, William. The S.S. Orient galop [music] - Front Cover

In the early 1900s, there really was a classic steamship called the SS Orient that sailed between London and Sydney, via the Suez Canal and The Cape. According to my research, it was a gleaming ship, full of glamorous characters and several rather dubious deaths, and proved a perfect fit for my book club friends. While I have changed some details, including the original itinerary, for the sake of this contemporary plot, much of the information about the ship is authentic and can be found in the bibliography.

Sadly, however, the SS Orient has not been recommissioned nor is there a real-life replica floating about as I have imagined here, but an author can dream can’t she?

And a book club can jump aboard for the ride…
Bon voyage!"

For more info on the (real) SS Orient 
 
The SS Orient Story by Roy Clifford and Dave Knight





Happy reading, everyone, and I hope you enjoy the voyage.
xo Christina

Sunday 8 May 2016

FIVE free copies of Agatha Christie Book Club up for grabs



I've got a touch of the Excitements and it's getting infectious! Just four sleeps to go until the official launch of my second Agatha Christie Book ClubMurder on the Orient (SS), which is now available for pre-order at Amazon and Smashwords.

The book will be on sale from Friday, May 13.

To celebrate, I prescribe a good dose of Book 1—The Agatha Christie Book Club (original cover pictured below).

If you haven't already read it, or you'd like a copy of the paperback version, then here's your chance.

I'm giving away FIVE free copies at Goodreads.

***The competition opens Monday, May 9 and closes June 9 and all Goodreads subscribers are welcome to enter. ***


If you haven't already, this is your chance to catch the Agatha Christie Book Club bug.

If you're not a member of Goodreads but you'd also like a chance to win a free copy of the first book, get in touch here and I will set up a separate competition just for you. But you do need to contact me ASAP.

Until then, good luck and happy (feverish) reading everyone!

xo Christina

Sunday 1 May 2016

The true story behind the real SS Orient


“The SS Orient, kiddoes! It’s a sign from Dame Christie herself!”
Missy Corner, Murder on the Orient (SS)

At last, here it is... 

If you enjoyed the first book or are just looking for a classic whodunnit, the Agatha Christie Book Club is back, this time on a nautical adventure called Murder on the Orient (SS), now available for pre-order at Amazon.

Murder on the Orient (SS) follows our beloved book lovers as they embark on a "quiet cruise" (cough, cough) between Sydney, Australia and Auckland in New Zealand.

Naturally, the first dead body shows up within 24 hours, but it's not really until a second body goes missing—this time with a loud squeal and an ominous splash overboard in the dead of night—that the club decides to pull on their Poirot mo' and investigate.

Based on a real ship

Like all my mysteries, this one was a lot of fun to write, but it was even more fun to research. Anyone who knows me, knows I love to sink my teeth into crusty old documents, dusty old reference books, and pages and pages of web material to get at the truth.

I'm a research junkie with no desire to kick the habit.

And this book was research (Acapulco) gold. The SS Orient really does exist. Or it did, back in 1879 when it was first built. And while the steamship only sailed a mere 30 years or so, mostly between London and "the colonies", it was also literary gold as far as I was concerned.

I quickly created a modern-day replica of the SS Orient and lured my book club aboard.

Not only does the ship have the perfect name—“The SS Orient, kiddoes! It’s a sign from Dame Christie herself!”—it was the ideal setting for an old-fashioned style whodunnit, the kind of ship Dame Christie (Miss Marple or Poirot) might have voyaged on had the opportunity come up.

It's elegantly designed and decorated and has few mod cons like CCTV and WiFi to get in the way of a good story. After all, there's no chance of sneaking into someone's cabin to bump them off on the Pacific Princess what with all those pesky cameras catching your every move.

Based on a favourite story

Now that I had the setting I just needed a great plot and I may—or may not—have borrowed from the Queen of Crime. I wanted there to be echoes of the original Murder on the Orient Express without being a carbon copy. Some elements are similar, some are wildly different, and Agatha Christie aficionados will enjoy a little trainspotting as the story progresses.

Just don't expect it to be handed to you on a silver platter. Like Christie's books, I provide a stack of clues and some fishy red herrings to keep you guessing right until the 'great reveal' at the end.

Or at least that's the plan.

I'd love to hear your thoughts once you've read the book. For now, jot me a line and let me know what you think of the cover, the setting and the basic premise of the story. Or simply sign up for your early copy at Amazon here.

Murder on the Orient (SS) will be officially launched on Friday, May 13. Yep, that's black Friday.

Unlucky for some.

If you haven't read the first in the series, The Agatha Christie Book Club, grab a copy now or look out for future discounts. There'll be plenty of those.

Until then, happy (retro) reading, everyone!
xo Christina





Monday 25 April 2016

Why I redesign my covers…

I could wax lyrical on current trends in online readership and design strategies behind market domination but the truth is, the reason I changed the cover of my stand-alone adult novel
 An Island Lost is as simple as this:

It's both good fun and a vital part of the creative process!

I love designing covers. It's a pet joy of mine. I love playing with images and fonts, colours and embellishments to create the most visually appealing book I can. Not just visually appealing, but visually relevant.

Because I like my covers to reveal the essence of my book. 


Now that may seem like a no-brainer to you, but I am often disappointed by a book that promises one thing with its cover and delivers something entirely different with its content. You think, soft and dreamy and it turns out to be hard and dreary. Or vice versa.

Product DetailsAnd don't get me started on all the dreadfully dull crime fiction that is published by traditional publishers. It is as though they have said, 'Let's try to say as little as possible with this cover.' By trying to be all things to all readers, they end up with a cover that is boring, banal and blah!
Product Details
Aussie paramedic-turned-author Katherine Howell tops that list of offenders and, sorry Harlan Coben, but you're up there, too. I love both authors' words, but their covers don't tell me a thing.

An Island Lost, an evolving tale...


I am known for changing my covers, it's true, but this particular book has seen several manifestations in its four years of publication.

I started with a slightly ominous, more masculine design in the early days which was done by a graphic designer by the name of Stuart Eadie. He did a great job, but I soon grew disappointed. It seemed too blokey to me and didn't really get the story across. It also seemed to alienate so many of my core readers—women.

So last year I did an about-face and redesigned the cover myself, this time with a very feminine look. I loved that cover, still do, but gradually have begun to wonder if it's a little too girlie. It looks like ChickLit and it's absolutly not that!

Back to the drawing board…


Recently, while pouring over images for my new Agatha Christie Book Club (cover reveal to come soon!), I found a photo that seemed perfect for An Island Lost—which is the story of a woman's journey back to her homeland, Papua New Guinea. The image is both fun and invigorating, and just slightly ominous. There's depth and there's illumination, and it's neither a book for men or a book for chicks. I think it encapsualtes the content perfectly.


But you be the judge! If you've read it, please let me know if you think this new-look cover better suits the book. If not, just let me know your thoughts, anyway.

Covers are not the most important part of a book, but they sure are fun to get right.

Happy (visually appealing) reading, everyone.
xo Christina


Wednesday 30 March 2016

Why writers have a right to be commercial (if Woody Allen can do it...)


Image result for free images of dollar signsI occasionally run workshops on self-publishing a novel and in every class there’s at least one set of eyebrows that shoot up at the point where I start to wax lyrical about the importance of sales, and how to better construct your book in a way that helps it sell. 

That means thinking about things that lure more buyers in—like word length, cover design, price point and so forth.

“You want to sell as many books as you can,” I say, “because the more books you sell the more money you make and the more chance you have to go on and turn more of your wonderful stories into books.” 

For some students it’s as though I have just said, “Now go out and prostitute yourself.” 


Invariably, their  eyebrows begin to squish together and a scornful voice below them says something like, “But surely we shouldn’t be publishing books to make money.” And my reply is usually a variation of, “And why the hell not?”

Do J.K. Rowling, Stephen King, Toni Morrison and Ian McEwan all knock back their royalties?

I then go on to say something to the effect of, “Why is it okay for certain professions to shamelessly make a motza and be lauded for it—like inventors and scientists and internet gurus and actors and entrepreneurs and sports people and, well, you get the drift—yet writers must cling to this antiquated idea that if we are to be true artists, we must struggle?”

“Why must we ignore sales to have any kind of credibility?”

At this point their eyebrows often settle down a bit and they concede the point and wave me on. That’s when I start discussing how to actually sell more books, and lo and behold things turn squishy again.

Because selling your book doesn’t start the minute you write ‘The End’. 

In fact, I tell my students, if you’re writing commercial fiction (because I’m not talking about literary fiction that delibrately pushes boundaries) and you’re hoping to sell e-books (because unless your name is Barnes and Noble, sites like Amazon are your marketplace) you’re going to need to consider certain factors before you’ve even penned the prologue.

Like word count... 
Did you know, for instance, that in some genres less is best (like mystery and non-fiction), in others the more the merrier (like literary fiction)? Certain readers gravitate to certain book lengths whether you like it or not. That means, if yours is a crime novel, a little less waffle might be good for your wallet. It might also be better for the book, but that's a whole other workshop.

Like the first few pages.. 
Did you know that online buyers usually only read a small (free) sample and if you don’t grab them fast they flick on to the next book? They may download the full 20% sample but chances are they won't even read a quarter of that. It's still a lot more than they're likely to read if they stumble upon your book in their local book shop. In any case it means you haven't got time (aka pages) to waste (see earlier comment about waffle).

Not to mention all the things that come afterwards like cover design (it’ll be the size of a stamp so it needs to work doubly hard) and price point (you could sell your ebook for $39.95 but the only one who’ll buy it is your mother), and so on and so forth.

By this stage the sceptical student's eyebrows are so wedged together, they could hold up a set of Encyclopedias. Yet I ask you: what’s wrong with creating, writing and marketing your books so they actually find buyers (aka readers)? 

Is that really any more cynical or any less artistic than writing books so that some guy in a suit can give you  a publishing deal or a literary award or a good review in a newspaper?

Better yet—and this is really what I'm arguing here—is it any different to the way other artists go about their work? Like producers of films, albums, plays, opera, broadsheets and so on? Every single one of those artforms works within certain externally dictated constraints in order to lure and satisfy an audience. 

So why not books?

Let’s take a closer look at some of these. 

• Films
When did you last see a movie—even an ‘art-house flick’— that cost, say, $30 a ticket or went for five hours? The likes of Woody Allen and Martin Scorsese may feel they deserve higher ticket prices or want to make a ten-hour movie but they know that very few people will see it and so they edit it back. And they do this even before they've finished the first take. It's part of the pre-production process.

That’s showbusiness. That’s common sense. That’s their very survival. Whatever the filmmaker's motive for making the movie, be it to entertain, challenge or take us on a journey, none of those things will happen if we don’t first buy a cinema ticket. 

In other words: Sales.

• Opera, Ballet, Theatre...
How many plays, operas or ballets have you attended that were performed at, say, five in the morning? Or after midnight? I’m gonna guess that, if you've attended any at all, the answer is none. Instead the production is usually performed over a few digestible hours after work or as a weekend matinee. Because that’s when people are available to see them and that’s when they’re more likely to buy a ticket. Did the reviewer criticize the fact that the opera or ballet was deliberately held at a convenient time for the masses? 

Were they selling out? I think not.

• Feature articles
When you read a brilliantly written article in a magazine or newspaper, like a literary book review perhaps, did you know that the writer was most likely asked to stay within a certain word count? And that the word counts for these reviews are getting smaller and smaller thanks to the internet and our diminishing attention spans? Do you criticize the reviewer and tell them they have sold out because they kept their review to, say, 500 words instead of the 1500 they wanted to write? Do they criticize themselves?

Of course not. It’s just business. It means the reader (remember them?) is more likely to read the whole review, the paper is more likely to sell more copies, and the reviewer is more likely to be asked (and paid!) to write more reviews in future. Ka-ching! all round.

So is that selling out? 

Stories should never be compromised. That’s NOT what I’m on about. 

Let me repeat that because I know some of you are already formulating your scathing comments about true art and selling your soul and blah blah blah.

Stories should never be compromised. But the way you present and package your stories can be carefully tweaked and modified to lure more readers in, just as they are in other areas of life. 

More readers = better sales
Better sales = more financial freedom
More financial freedom = more chance of giving up your day job and telling more of your wonderful stories

Hell, it may even give you the financial freedom to throw everything I’ve just said out of the window and write that 200,000-word tome you’ve been dreaming about.

Just don’t expect to sell many.

Happy reading (and writing) everyone!
xo Christina